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The confidence and self esteem puzzle

Help is at hand so please look around

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Confidence and self-esteem can seem elusive to all of us at certain times of our lives.

Especially when we get bogged down, stuck or just completely lost. So does this sound familiar?

If this seems familiar and you want help please read on. photo on confidence page of a jigsaw

Unravelling the puzzle of what you would like to happen. So when working out what confidence actually means it has to be defined in personal terms.

Let’s make 2 deals here ok?

Stay away from self-esteem for now and only put our attention of confidence ok?

Also no “I don’t want this and I don’t want that” thinking or answers. Ok?

You may spot how self-esteem adjusts itself when confidence is given your full attention and quality thinking. So self-esteem is off limits, for now, that’s the deal.

Finally comes the action once confidence is understood and defined as a reality.

 

Moving from stuck thinking and creating movement.

Book a FREE 15 minute conversation with me now.

Heres a universal truth. Most people haven’t sat down and looked at the nuts and bolts of what it is they actually want.

It seems they can just term their problem and for some that can be a massive thing. It is even something for some that has become about their whole life not happening.

Also if you don’t know what confidence looks, feels or sounds like how can you even get it?

So let’s consider your current map.

 

Confidence page - image of a map

We have to define what confidence means within your world. For anyone, the universal larger terms have to be used to get you focussed on what this all means.

And this is how we do it by unravelling the puzzle through questions to define what you want.

 

  • Where will you be when you feel confident?
  • What will you be doing when you have confidence?
  • How will you be thinking confidently?
  • Why is being confident important. What does it get you?
  • Who will you be with when you act confidently?
  • Who will you be when you work all of this out.
  • Finally, once you have confidence after working all the things on this list what is your vision now?

Vision is a powerful lens to look at the world you want to have.

That’s the point of getting you to define how confidence manifests in your future so we can build you up to get you there.

Doing this helps you work towards building confidence and getting higher self-esteem by building on good behaviours.


confidence page - clapperboard image

So how do we get you to tap into your potential and take action?

It's this simple:

You can do all of the above yourself or get in touch and talk to me about a course in confidence building.

Or check out the life coaching area by clicking HERE

 

Last word here:

Did you spot how when you build in being confident that self-esteem just grows too and comes with it?

That’s why I left it out of the equation because when we focus on you being confident we really don’t need to do much work on self-esteem, do we?

 

How to book a confidence session.

Contact me by clicking HERE Now.

or Call me on 07894900244 Today.

Mark Pettigrew

image of Mark Pettigrew on the mindfulness meditation page

My mind is too strong to be hypnotised

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This is a very common statement indeed.I have heard this quite a lot over the years and its easy enough explained when talking about hypnosis.

Because whatever you think your right about being hypnotised or not depending on your position on hypnosis.

I have heard things like these over the years loads of times:

  • My mind is so strong Hypnosis wont work on me.
  • I probably can't be hypnotised as I am so strong-willed.

 

So what do you think someone is really telling me here?

And be honest whypnosis page image of hypnotic pictureith yourself!

 

This is what they are generally saying to me or to you – I refuse to be hypnotised.

 

That’s all a person is saying. End of story!

So if we flip this on its head and you re-read the 3 statements above in another way they could actually mean this.

  • Nothing will stop me hypnotising myself when I am ready because I have such a strong mind.
  • I am so strong-willed that I will do everything in my power to help you with hypnosis and my issue. After I feel comfortable about hypnosis
  • This is perfect for me because my mind is so strong I will work with it so hypnosis can help me. Once you help me remove all the stereotypes and social BS.

Let me help you with a little secret here.

it is all about trust and you trusting the hypnotherapist/hypnotist to help you get the changes you want with hypnosis.

It’s really that simple when you consider using hypnotherapy.

hypnosis page image showing many colours as abstract

Book a FREE 15 minute conversation with me now.

I am not there YET

So if you are using the first kind of statements that your mind is too strong to be hypnotised it perhaps just means your not ready yet. And the word YET signifies the limit of your understanding that’s all.

 

Broadly for me, I meet 2 types of people:

People that have been hypnotised before and enjoyed every minute and were wowed by the changes and relaxation of hypnosis. This is a valuable experience for them with hypnosis.

 

And the other type of people

People that need to be convinced by asking me questions to feel safe and that confidentiality is paramount. They are only the people that are not there yet!

Either way here once you know the answers to the questions then nothing will stop you being hypnotised will it? That’s as long as they satisfy your criteria of safety and confidentiality.

So if you want to really be hypnotised it’s going to happen Period – end of story. It’s that simple.

 

Top tip:

With your hypnotic change work find someone you like and trust to help you. Even if that means in the first session you don’t do hypnosis. Yes, you heard me right!

So map out what you want to have happen and if that means 1 hour of asking questions it’s your time and money.

Nothing can stop you being hypnotised once you decide that hypnosis is for you. Because all the hypnotist/hypnotherapist does is help you go in even deeper than you already can.

So working with someone else just means you can improve what you already do as you already have hypnosis skills.

So the best thing to do is if you don’t trust your hypnotist/hypnotherapist or hypnosis yet is ask loads of questions.

Because once you have satisfied your curiosity your powerful mind is good to go into hypnosis.

 

 

hypnotherapy page - hypnotic spiral image

So for more information on Hypnotherapy please click – HERE

Contact me by clicking HERE Now.

or Call me on 07894900244 Today.

Mark Pettigrew

image of Mark Pettigrew on the mindfulness meditation page

Weight Loss Are You At A Loss With Weight Loss?

Don’t you think the way you think about weight loss can have you piling back on the same old weight?

Wouldn’t you agree that your results about what you want are determined by how you talk and think? Well for me weight loss is exactly the same.
weight loss image

Look:

If you speak in a certain way then your results will be in the way of your inner talk even if it is at an unconscious level you are messing up your results and your head.

Listen:

I am not going to promise you an overnight avalanche of fat falling off your body. But what I will promise is that if you read on I will open your eyes to some really simple powerful stuff.

The bottom line is that:

I am going to show you how to get rid of sabotaging language and start to use words and thinking that helps you “get shot of fat”

I can’t emphasise this enough:

The weight loss industry in part has been set up to make you fail. let’s face it this industry needs repeat customers to keep buying and buying its products over and over again.

Crappy language 101 (the positives)

  • Diet – the first 3 letters spell DIE. An unconscious failure word. Spot this and never use the word again in reference to what you are doing. Stop saying DIET NOW.
  • Loss – when you lose something you search and search for it until you find it. Think about when you lost your house or car keys. This is a failure programme already running which keeps you searching for lost weight. Stop saying LOSE NOW.
  • Weight – weight loss is unspecific and just refers to a part of you so your energy is depleting because it focuses on weight. Whatever that even means. This is a confusion in itself. You need to be after FAT. Stop saying WEIGHT NOW.

Specific compelling and motivating language 101

  • Body fat – this is what you are after getting rid of. Let’s get specific on what we are targeting here. If you talk about fat then its raw, emotional and real and this can really drive you forwards. Start talking about FAT NOW
  • Shedding, binning off, demolishing, dissolving, eradicating fat. All of these words imply the fat is going and gone for good with no desire to have it back. Start using words that mean it’s gone for good NOW.
  • Using “I am” “I can” “I will” statements that imply intent and direction. Never use “I should” or “I will try” as these have failure built into them. Start using these words Now.

The last word from me on weight loss:weight loss image

This is about personal power and not allowing it to leak to other things or people.

A diet implies you are giving away your power to a thing outside of yourself – a diet. You are all the power you need and a diet won’t keep you motivated.

Tap into your own inner resources like setting goals, having a vision and using people, the internet, and other resources to make things work for you. And hypnotherapy can be amazing to do that!

Have a real emotional, raw, compelling reason for doing it as this is truly motivating. Really work this one out and you will succeed.

OK, so the very last word!

When people say to you “you look great now” “oh you have lost a lot of weight” take the compliment, thank the person and say to them “thanks for noticing, I look and feel great and I agree with you” (people love to be agreed with trust me)

So for more information on this please check out Weight Loss Hypnotherapy

Remember:

  • You must remember to make this about you and give yourself credit for the tiniest change. Note it in a book or in some written form.
  • If you can look back and give yourself credit for the tiniest change and note it in a book or in some written form this is a record and proof.
  • If you can look back as the weight falls off and your jeans are slacker take careful note and give yourself credit consciously this is important for motivation.

 

Thanks again for reading my editorials and if you want to talk things over please contact me HERE for more information on Weight Management not weight loss 🙂

Mark

 

 

“Quietening The Critical Voice” – Life Coaching Series

Coaching yourself to shut down an annoying voice in your head.

 

Many of us have or have had a voice in our head that just won’t shut up, go away or quieten haven’t we?

 

The truth is we all have a voice inside our head and thankfully and in, most cases it’s our own voice. and that’s just called thinking.

 

But some people have a voice that criticises them, is too loud or just won’t shut up or give them peace. I have had it in the past myself where my own inner dialogue just drove me to distraction and literally did my head in.

I have had it in the past myself where my own inner dialogue just drove me to distraction and literally did my head in.

coaching

 

It is my intention to show you 3 simple life coaching techniques to either shut down that voice for good or take control of it.

Interested in learning them?

 

The first and in my opinion the most powerful is changing the way you write. Yes, a simple stroke of a pen can shut that voice off completely.

Through graphology taught to me by Mike Mandel it can be spotted and remedied.

If you write the cross bar when writing the letter T from right to left you probably have an overbearing inner voice.

By writing the cross bar from right to left you have set up “willpower directed against self”

The simple coaching remedy = write the cross bar from left to right. It’s that simple and powerful to change immediately.

 

The second – slacken your jaw, let it shift slightly forward, relax the jaw and breathe calmly. Yes, it’s that simple and powerful.

 

The third – whilst having a slackened jaw as above – Touch your tongue to the inside of your upper teeth. To supercharge this imagine you have a droplet of water between your tongue and your upper teeth.

To supercharge this imagine you have a droplet of water between your tongue and your upper teeth.

 

So as I said all you need are 3 simple and powerful coaching techniques to take control of your head.

 

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Once again thanks for reading my life coaching editorials. lease allow yourself to comment below and tell me what you want me to write about next.

And please comment below and tell me what you want me to write about next.

 

Best wishes

coaching

Mark

Diagonal Reframe – Life coaching series

Diagonal Reframe – Life coaching series

Diagonal Reframe - Life coaching series

So continuing this life coaching series with the diagonal reframe NLP technique. This can change how you feel very quickly and move you into a resourceful state in an instant.

 

The diagonal reframe is a brand new technique and cutting edge so please stay tuned for how to do it in this post.

 

This has been taught to me by my mentor Mike Mandel. Mike has continued to be at the cutting edge of personal change and communication since 1975. He still continues to astound us with what he brings to personal development.

 

So the great news is that the diagonal reframe is quick, easy to do and changes emotional issues in an instant. So follow the procedure I will outline now. Or just skip to the video right at the bottom of this post.

 

Remember when you reframe something you change the way you feel, view or consider something to a completely new perspective.

 

The diagonal reframe and how to do it with ease.

 

Take a feeling and as an example feeling lazy. Take that feeling and really get in touch with its embodied intensity and how it actually manifests and feels in your body.

Note: this is not for trauma

 

  1. Stand with your shoulders and head looking forward comfortably locked in that forward position. Look down and to your right. Almost as if you are looking just to the area to the right of your right foot.
  2. Really get a sense of that emotional feeling of lazy being in this area and manifest it physically. Really work this feeling up and intensify it.
  3. Imagine you take it between your hands and grab the lazy feeling.
  4. Move the lazy feeling from this area and move it through the area of the bridge of your nose. Then up to your top left.
  5. Notice the picture that the lazy feeling has now become. If you see a picture then good. If you are like me and you just know what it is by words then that’s good too. If you have to pretend what the picture is then just do what works and allow your unconscious to tell you what it is.
  6. Smile, breathe, shut your eyes, shake off your body and relax.
  7. Now notice how that feeling has completely gone and check it has worked.

 

The diagonal reframe is that simple and easy to do.

 

Note: If you are left handed the following video explains that the positions are shifted to the bottom left and then to top right.

 

If this is not working for you then you really have to get the physical feelings and manifest them and trust that you can and will do this.

Also, trust what your unconscious mind throws up as a picture just trust it. As I said it could be an actual picture.

Or just words so just accept them or if you have to pretend then just pretend.

 

Please see this video of how to do the diagonal reframe and how easy it is to do.

 

Video Thumbnail

 

For my areas of coaching please click HERE

And also to book a free 30 minute consultation please click HERE Now!

 

Once again thanks for blogging with me and please comment and contact me to discuss anything I can help you with.

Mark

 

6 Point Energy Tapping Technique – Life coaching series

6 Point Energy Tapping Technique – Life Coaching Series.

 

I have continued this life coaching series with an energy tapping technique you can use anywhere. The whole point of this series is to empower you with skills that will change your current state and reality quickly.

 

This technique is completely new and from a  master of personal change and communication. Mike Mandel has been an expert in this field since 1975 so stay tuned for something completely new.

 

If you know anything about this I’m sure you will agree that many energy tapping regimes are complex, take time and mental effort to remember and apply so can be awkward to master.

The great news is this energy tapping technique is simple, powerful and easy to learn.

6 Point Energy Tapping Technique - Life coaching series

 

I will take you through it point by point then show you in a youtube video you can use if you prefer to reference it there.

 

The technique is usable for emotional issues as well as physical aches and pains as well.

Which makes this a great all round resource to carry with you in your back pocket and use.

So how to do the energy tapping technique.

Note: When tapping, tap in the spot I show you in the video around 7-10 times with a force that you know you are actually tapping with some force but won’t hurt or bruise yourself.

 

  1. Firstly score the thing/issue/problem/situation that you want to change. Use a scale of 0-10 where 0 is completely flat and has no pain or emotional intensity at all. 10 is the maximum discomfort it could possibly be.
  2. Tune into the physical and emotional feeling of the thing that is bothering you that you want to change and manifest it completely (also score it again) and keep it present.
  3. Tap on the top of your head 7-10 times saying “let it go, let it go, let it go” each time you tap. You can say this out loud or in your head.
  4. Tap on the front of your forehead with your 4 finger tips vertical 7-10 times saying “let it go, let it go, let it go” each time you tap.
  5. Tap on the edge of your eye right on the bone saying “let it go, let it go, let it go” each time you tap.
  6. Tap right under your eye on the radial part of the bone saying “let it go, let it go, let it go” each time you tap.
  7. Tap on your collarbone saying “let it go, let it go, let it go” each time you tap.
  8. Hold onto your wrist for the time it would take 7-10 taps saying “let it go, let it go, let it go” each time you tap.
  9. Breath in, then breathe out, dropping your arms saying “Peace”.
  10. Shake off your body and let go of the process completely.

 

Now score the thing you were working on again and once you have a number do the complete sequence over again.

Re score at the end and continue doing this until the thing you are working on is at a score of zero and completely flat.

 

Please see this video for the whole process of the energy tapping technique.

 

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Note: please make sure you are well hydrated for this and away from electrical sources and technology like computers and mobile phones.

 

I would like to give credit for this energy tapping technique to my mentor Dr Mike Mandel and you can find his website here.

 

If you want more information on detailed life coaching please click Here.

Or contact me HERE for a free 30-minute consultation Now.

 

Once again many thanks for following my blog posts and please comment below.

 

Best wishes.

Mark

Mindfulness meditation series 1 – mind wide open video

Mindfulness meditation series 1

 

This mindfulness meditation series mind wide open video is a brief and powerful yet quite different practice that will surprise you as it’s an eyes wide open practice.

 

It is noteworthy to say that most mindfulness meditations are an eyes closed practice.

 

mindfulness meditation series

This video shows you how to do mindful meditation in a relaxed state. Which will help you get to a calm and relaxed place by practicing and expanding your practice in a new approach.

 

The proof of this meditation is that it comes from mindfulness based stress reduction MBSR which started in 1979.  This has been growing in scientific proof and personal following for many decades now.

 

This is a completely new way to do mindfulness than any other way I have helped you learn to date. So please approach it in an open and honest way. As ever please feel free to feedback your experience to me via Facebook and on the comments below.

 

So just follow the instructions on the video to enjoy it and please remember that the “wandering mind” does and will happen so please just:

  • Recognise your mind has wandered
  • Let go of the thought
  • Return to the meditation

Note:

  • This proves you are improving the more you come back the stronger you are becoming at mindfulness
  • Be kind to yourself regarding your mind wandering and smile when you catch your mind go on a wander.
  • This is all very normal

 

 

Please contact me HERE or call me on 0789490244 for assistance today as mindfulness can be done:

  • one to one in person or over Skype / Facetime
  • In group settings

Or if you just want more information on mindfulness  please click HERE

 

 

Thanks again for blogging with me and please feel free to leave comments below and share this post.

Mark

 

The Literal Reframe NLP Life Coaching Technique

This is a personal life coaching NLP technique called Literal Reframe NLP Life Coaching Technique you can take anywhere and do anywhere where nobody even knows you’re doing it at all.

 

The beauty of this is that you can change a past event in your mind so that the emotional intensity is changed within the neurology and chemistry in your brain thus re-coding that event inside your brain. So if you do that you will no longer be affected in the same way you were

 

So if you do this simple technique you will no longer be affected in the same way you were before. So can create emotional freedom and brain changes and can be happier, more productive and free to run your own brain in a way that serves you.

 

I will post a step by step video after the written run down for you here for the Literal Reframe NLP Life Coaching Technique

 

  1. Pull up a picture/image / event of something you want to change
  2. Freeze frame that picture at the emotional intensity point of the memory (this is a crucial step so please take care to do this)
  3. Make the picture black and white
  4. Make the picture grainy and indistinguishable
  5. Push it away with your hands as far as you can so its small into the distance
  6. Place a picture frame around that small, dark grainy, indistinguishable image you can’t make out and place it on a wall in your mind
  7. Place a picture light above it like the ones in picture galleries or museums
  8. Physically reach out and switch the light on with your hand
  9. leave it all there as it is now
  10. Now close your eyes, breathe, stand tall and confidently and shake off your body and get on with your day.

 

Tomorrow check that event in your mind and you will find you have re-coded it in your brain and it is now quite different.

 

See below for a video to help even more with this simple and very powerful Literal Reframe NLP Life Coaching Technique.

 

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So check tomorrow and you will find the emotional intensity has changed and you have actually recoded your experience of it internally in your brain. It’s as simple as that.

 

Once again thanks for following my posts and feel free to comment, share and message me privately for a free 30-minute consultation by clicking HERE now.

Mark

 

Starting your own journey of change

Change – Creating That By Yourself

I have spotted something really useful by people who have worked with me successfully that I want to share with you. It has made me wonder if people even realise that this is a big part of change and that they would just benefit by understanding what I have seen.

Are you interested yet to know about it and what I have seen and experienced for myself?

 

Starting your own journey of change image

 

Well for me the people that can take the first step them self of getting in touch with me via text, email, facebook or any other electronic format have started their own change process is the first thing I have seen that works straight away.

 

People that take the initiative have consciously or even unconsciously started their own process of change from that instant they get in touch with me because it’s a crucial step.

 

Then people take the next step of having a free consultation by phone or face to face with me. This for me is really useful so they can just feel heard and I can understand what they want to change. It’s really important you are heard and listened to deeply and actively so you know you have been heard and understood in the aspect of what you want.

 

This builds trust before we even meet and helps you to know that I am the right person to help you to get to where you want to get to. Then they go ahead themself and make a booking and pay for it before they come here which is a further commitment to what they want and change.

 

So when we meet face to face to create change and start that journey you have already started it because you initiated the beginning. This may sound very simple and maybe too simple but trust me the people that take the time and effort to make sure they have done the above get far better results just by doing these steps:

 

  1. Make  contact with me (Contact me here Now)
  2. Book a free consultation (Reserve one here Now)
  3. Book and pay for a session upfront and in advance

 

I really felt this was important to write about and give credit to people by bringing it to their awareness. It is my mission to help people see that they are far more powerful than their problems. Working together is important to create change and yet you can do those things easily when you decide what you want.

 

Once again thanks for blogging with me and I really hope you will comment, share and contact me so I can help you.

 

Best wishes and thanks again.

Mark

 

Separate The Bad Habit From The Intention

Is your bad habit just pure bad?

What if it had a lot of good in it too?

 

 

bad habit life coaching editorial image

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Most of us don’t challenge the way we think because we generally agree it’s just the way we are which is a social protection mechanism and a bad habit. I bet you have heard something like this many times “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks” or ” a leopard doesn’t change its spots”

 

This really is a big fat lie that keeps us all safe and comfortable huddled together agreeing with each other in comfortable bliss and safety but have you ever wondered why we stay stuck with a bad habit?

 

This is really common so please just consider this with an open mind. A major premise of NLPNeuro Linguistic Programming is that the sub-conscious mind will never do anything to harm the person and everything it does is for a positive reason.

 

Sometimes I talk about it in this way to help people consider it differently – I often ask smokers what do you get out of smoking and most times they say “absolutely nothing”. Point to note is smoking is the bad habit.

 

Then I ask this “what’s the positive intention or positive purpose of smoking?” which sometimes can take a bit of teasing out of the person and it usually includes the following –

 

“I get to leave the office for a quick fag” “I get to relax after a long day” “it stops me killing the kids” “It helps me feel good” so the positive purposes or intentions of the bad habit are Comfort, relaxation, safety and freedom to which the light bulb comes on and they then realise they smoke for very good reasons. So no more denial about getting absolutely nothing out of smoking.

 

This is a turn around moment in the conversation realising there are positives in a bad habit. But more than that is the sense that it’s not all bad so a person can see that beating them self up doesn’t help them progress to reconsider a bad habit as something else entirely.

 

So without considering this turn around this is why we can stay stuck with a bad habit because of a rigid belief of the event that created it and those circumstances.

 

So the point here is that by loosening up the grip on the belief and seeing the story about the bad habit in a different way can really help you start to make changes.

 

What would happen if you took some time to think about the positive intentions of decisions and beliefs you formed from past events rather than just accepting them as rigid stuck problems? I mean really consider why you did things and find the positive rather than the actual past event that happened only which keeps you stuck.

 

Deliberately look for the positive of the things you thought of as problems to redefine your relationship to past events and give yourself a different way to think about habits.

 

You never know you might give yourself a bit of a break and see new possibilities and choices for progress and change because people really do change when they find a way to look at things from a new perspective that consistently works.

 

It’s amazing what happens when you change your relationship and story with a past event and how that can help you create new possibilities. It might even make you smile when you see a positive in there and that in itself is all it takes to start the process.

 

Please contact me HERE about a free 2-hour coaching session Now to consider new and better ways to change your future rather than just letting it happen.

 

Again thanks for blogging with me and please comment, share and like this editorial.

 

Marko