Tag: scotland

Starting your own journey of change

Change – Creating That By Yourself

I have spotted something really useful by people who have worked with me successfully that I want to share with you. It has made me wonder if people even realise that this is a big part of change and that they would just benefit by understanding what I have seen.

Are you interested yet to know about it and what I have seen and experienced for myself?

 

Starting your own journey of change image

 

Well for me the people that can take the first step them self of getting in touch with me via text, email, facebook or any other electronic format have started their own change process is the first thing I have seen that works straight away.

 

People that take the initiative have consciously or even unconsciously started their own process of change from that instant they get in touch with me because it’s a crucial step.

 

Then people take the next step of having a free consultation by phone or face to face with me. This for me is really useful so they can just feel heard and I can understand what they want to change. It’s really important you are heard and listened to deeply and actively so you know you have been heard and understood in the aspect of what you want.

 

This builds trust before we even meet and helps you to know that I am the right person to help you to get to where you want to get to. Then they go ahead themself and make a booking and pay for it before they come here which is a further commitment to what they want and change.

 

So when we meet face to face to create change and start that journey you have already started it because you initiated the beginning. This may sound very simple and maybe too simple but trust me the people that take the time and effort to make sure they have done the above get far better results just by doing these steps:

 

  1. Make  contact with me (Contact me here Now)
  2. Book a free consultation (Reserve one here Now)
  3. Book and pay for a session upfront and in advance

 

I really felt this was important to write about and give credit to people by bringing it to their awareness. It is my mission to help people see that they are far more powerful than their problems. Working together is important to create change and yet you can do those things easily when you decide what you want.

 

Once again thanks for blogging with me and I really hope you will comment, share and contact me so I can help you.

 

Best wishes and thanks again.

Mark

 

Separate The Bad Habit From The Intention

Is your bad habit just pure bad?

What if it had a lot of good in it too?

 

 

bad habit life coaching editorial image

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Most of us don’t challenge the way we think because we generally agree it’s just the way we are which is a social protection mechanism and a bad habit. I bet you have heard something like this many times “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks” or ” a leopard doesn’t change its spots”

 

This really is a big fat lie that keeps us all safe and comfortable huddled together agreeing with each other in comfortable bliss and safety but have you ever wondered why we stay stuck with a bad habit?

 

This is really common so please just consider this with an open mind. A major premise of NLPNeuro Linguistic Programming is that the sub-conscious mind will never do anything to harm the person and everything it does is for a positive reason.

 

Sometimes I talk about it in this way to help people consider it differently – I often ask smokers what do you get out of smoking and most times they say “absolutely nothing”. Point to note is smoking is the bad habit.

 

Then I ask this “what’s the positive intention or positive purpose of smoking?” which sometimes can take a bit of teasing out of the person and it usually includes the following –

 

“I get to leave the office for a quick fag” “I get to relax after a long day” “it stops me killing the kids” “It helps me feel good” so the positive purposes or intentions of the bad habit are Comfort, relaxation, safety and freedom to which the light bulb comes on and they then realise they smoke for very good reasons. So no more denial about getting absolutely nothing out of smoking.

 

This is a turn around moment in the conversation realising there are positives in a bad habit. But more than that is the sense that it’s not all bad so a person can see that beating them self up doesn’t help them progress to reconsider a bad habit as something else entirely.

 

So without considering this turn around this is why we can stay stuck with a bad habit because of a rigid belief of the event that created it and those circumstances.

 

So the point here is that by loosening up the grip on the belief and seeing the story about the bad habit in a different way can really help you start to make changes.

 

What would happen if you took some time to think about the positive intentions of decisions and beliefs you formed from past events rather than just accepting them as rigid stuck problems? I mean really consider why you did things and find the positive rather than the actual past event that happened only which keeps you stuck.

 

Deliberately look for the positive of the things you thought of as problems to redefine your relationship to past events and give yourself a different way to think about habits.

 

You never know you might give yourself a bit of a break and see new possibilities and choices for progress and change because people really do change when they find a way to look at things from a new perspective that consistently works.

 

It’s amazing what happens when you change your relationship and story with a past event and how that can help you create new possibilities. It might even make you smile when you see a positive in there and that in itself is all it takes to start the process.

 

Please contact me HERE about a free 2-hour coaching session Now to consider new and better ways to change your future rather than just letting it happen.

 

Again thanks for blogging with me and please comment, share and like this editorial.

 

Marko

 

 

 

Are you fed up with the same old story?

What's your story then? life coach editorial image

 

What’s your story then?

 

Are you getting stale or bored because of the same old story your trapped inside? Need to say things out loud to make you feel alive in your workplace or at home? Well read on and tell me what you think after!

 

Life coaches are here to serve you and not to please you and that may sound provocative but is completely the truth and that’s the way it needs to be to shake people out of their stories. Your situation depends on you being able to honestly dig down into that story and situation skillfully to see what’s happening and how it affects you for good or for bad.

 

Yes it is uncomfortable having to go into the nuts and bolts of your life or the story you created but more and more high achievers are doing that. And with professional objective strangers like me to help them cut through the crap of their story about their life.

 

The closest people in our lives are not objective enough to help us as they are far too close to our stories and form part of the narrative. They also can’t tell you what you need to hear because they have a relationship with you and are part of the cast.

 

Most offer well-meaning advice that you might up ending up resenting or dismissing all because they were never your ideas and that can be painful to go through and even exhausting. Why can it be painful or exhausting? Well have you ever went on someones advice and eventually binned it off because in the end you realised it wasnt your idea? Are you getting the point now?

 

A skilled coach will bring out your own ideas, your greatness, your problem-solving abilities, your resourcefulness and get you to dig deep into your beliefs and habits for meaning. When you do this your story starts to loosen and can begin to change.

 

More often than not we keep going with behaviours, habits and routines that need to be discussed with someone that can see what’s going on from an objective level who can see the process and content from a different perspective and invite you to consider changes.

 

Most people can’t see the woods from the trees because they are so invested into their story that it is just too blurred and that’s where a coach adds value. A skilful caring coach will insist on getting into clarity and meaning of what’s happening for you and at times this is very uncomfortable.

 

Why can it be so uncomfortable? Well people pussy foot around you normally and don’t tell you how it is for loads of reasons like they don’t want to offend you or lose your affection. So having objectivity and not being involved in your life means that a coach must ask questions that encourage you to flesh out deeper meaning and often shock you with their questions or the answers you find.

 

Being asked skilful interesting questions can make you uncomfortable and stretch your understanding and that’s where the magic happens. Once we are awoken by seeing how we do things, what is there and really understanding what we want in a positive sense then a whole new map of your world or story can begin. This is the beauty of being served and not pleased because this is what friends do and coaches don’t.

 

Your direction, values and beliefs are the batteries for your success and can’t be installed by a coach! Coaching is a dance where the coach sometimes leads but the content and new direction is all pulled from within you by asking interesting questions that take you much deeper.

 

Are you fed up being pleased by well-meaning people and need to challenge yourself, your reality or your situation? What would it be like if you had powerful insights on a regular basis and changed that story for ever?

 

“Mark has that rare skill of being able to listen and to hear the message that is not being said directly. I found his ability to prompt me to consider a range of things that have either held me back, or driven me to pursue irrelevant issues extremely helpful.

I would heartily recommend his services in this field. His background and his “people skills” give him the ability to home in on the areas a person needs to focus upon. I’m very grateful to him for the insight he has given me.”

Patrick Cox image for What's your story then? life coach editorial Patrick G Cox – Germany

 

If you want to experience a complimentary 2-hour deep coaching session face to face or over the internet then please click HERE now where we can have a powerful conversation together and start changing that story.

 

Thanks again for reading my editorials and please feel free to contact me, comment, like and share.

 

Mark Pettigrew Image for What's your story then? life coach editorial

Marko

 

Are you leading by agreements or failing because of expectations?

Are you leading by agreements image for life coaching editorial

Agreements:

  • Harmony or accordance in opinion or feeling:
  • A negotiated and typically legally binding arrangement between parties as to a course of action:

 

I recently listened to an amazing audio by Steve Chandler outlining how we fail regularly because of what we expect from people and our unclear needs from them because we lack agreements.

 

I am going to make an assumption here that everyone wants some form of success in their lives right? Well the thing is that if you are leading people or leading yourself to success then expectations will cause you major and regular problems if you are not careful.

 

Expectations create fuzzy blurred and open-ended situations and outcomes. And they just set people up for trouble and arguments about what one person thought was being asked of by another person and where the other person believed it was the other way.

 

Expectations often create conflict, doubt and uncertainty if they are not nipped in the bud at an early stage. Expectations lead to hassles, missed deadlines, non-productivity and the list can go on and on I’m sure you would agree.

 

So people that lead well and clearly outline what they actually want from the organisation, people, products and the process through their agreements. They then set out how everyone works together in a plan because of their vision set out through that agreement.

 

Agreements can create clarity, creativity, vision and boundaries which actually draw out leaders throughout organisations. This is because everyone knows where they stand and how they can contribute to the outcome together by actually being all included in the creation of the agreement.

 

Something to keep in mind about agreements is they can be renegotiated, changed and adapted to fit in with your over all plan. This means when an agreement doesn’t work or is not as relevant anymore progress can be made and also people can be heard when an agreement doesn’t work so moral can remain high because of working together.

 

Steve Chandler says in the audio “Human beings don’t like breaking agreements but won’t live up to your expectations” so knowing that and when you think of how many times you were let down by your expectations of others then agreements make 100% sense for success right?

 

It could also be argued that:

EXPECTATION = Lack of leadership

AGREEMENTS = Leadership

 

So it could be a good idea to look at your life and spot where it’s not working and see what’s missing or needed there to avoid needless failures and confusion.

 

I offer a 2-hour complimentary deep coaching session and if you think this would serve you in an area of your life please click CONTACT and message me now.

 

Once again thanks for blogging with me and reading my editorials. And please feel free to comment and share this editorial.

 

Marko

What’s Important To you?

What’s Important To You – Life Coaching Editorial Series

 

what's important for you life coach image Paisley

 

Often when I am at events I get asked “what do you do?” and I used to say I’m an executive coach and plenty of times it looked quite an underwhelming answer for the person that asked the question.

 

Now I answer something like this “I help people break out of their limiting stories they call their lives” and I usually follow on with something like “If you think about it we all go round in a story about our lives and parts of it don’t work all that well do they?”

 

Then I explain that I am an executive coach just to clarify the story of what I just said. I noticed some time back when I became fascinated by “deep or transformational” coaching that many coaches want to get right into the HOW of what was going on or needed.

 

I then started to realise that we go round in behaviour habits or patterns that often don’t work and we stick with them and look for an action or How to break the pattern by getting into doing something which doesn’t solve the issue or habit.

 

People can have a very powerful WHY that draws them forward but get tired or burned out by the HOW habit of action that often doesn’t work because of the WHAT that may be missing or even not required because they haven’t went deep enough into their story on what’s been going on in this habit.

 

To give you a very personal insight of how I have worked on this WHAT that was missing for me was around the issue of “self-love” which I worked on with my own coach at a very deep personal level. I had for years been doing all sorts of things and activities that I thought would make me whole and getting burned out and fed up.

 

For me by being challenged about my WHY and by being guided deeper it became apparent that WHAT I thought was missing was actually inside of me all the time and couldn’t be gained by the constant exhausting searching and HOW actions and even bad habits.

 

So WHAT I was searching for was always inside and couldn’t be gained, bought or obtained external to me because it had always been inside of me but I was just blind to its existence.

are you ready for a breakthrough life coaching image for what's important to you editorial

WHAT do you want and WHY do you need it is a very powerful question to ask yourself  to get right into HOW you achieve that vision or goal.

 

Believe me the HOW is crucially important when clarity has been brought into play by getting off the surface and into quality interesting questions at a much deeper coaching  level.

Please contact me HERE to discuss a complimentary 2-hour deep coaching session today.

So what’s really important to you now?

 

Thanks again for blogging with me and reading my editorials and I look forward to being able to help you. And please feel free to comment below and share this article.

 

Marko

Life Coaching Is not a Dirty Word

life-cocahing-is-not-just-for-americans1

Life Coaching is not just for American people!

 

Ever heard people say something like this “Life coaching that’s an American thing” Or “why would I need life coaching I don’t have a problem?” You may be surprised by how many successful people that actually have a life coach or have used one in the past for various personal reasons.

 

Life coaches help people like you and me around fitness, money, health, relationships, confidence and many other life or business areas. It’s true that some people feel like they have roadblocks or an inner battle they want to sort out. Or even that they don’t know what to do about it and can feel isolated and life coaching can help.

 

So what’s so special about this type of service you may be saying? Well for a few valuable reasons I will go into but for me the main one is life coaches won’t buy into your reality like your friends will and they won’t tell you what you want to hear too like friends do.

 

If you count all of the advice people give you in a week you would have a pretty full notebook of things you never did. Advice isn’t often useful and it’s not useful for personal growth and expansion of you as a person because you never did anything with it because it was never your idea in the first place.

 

Does that sound weird or actually the truth? Coaches are there to help you and assist you to clarify what you want and help you uncover your own resources and not to just agree with you because that’s the real value of this. Life coaches are here to help you to clarify what you want as opposed to what you don’t want and help you uncover your own resources and not to just agree with you because that’s the real value of life coaching.

 

The real value is in being challenged and stretched when you see what’s important for you then building a plan towards it is compelling. A good life coach needs to be a challenger, provoker, listener, supporter and an awakener to truly be able to help you motivate yourself into something that you want.

 

Did you know that Oprah Winfrey, Leonardo DiCaprio, Bill Clinton and Andre’ Agassi all had and still have life coaches? This isn’t a coincidence and neither is their personal success or the problems that they had to overcome in some cases to achieve greatness and success.

 

Many very successful people use life coaching just to see what they can achieve in their lives so that they can go to the next level or to find out more about themselves through greater self-awareness.

 

So yes life coaching can help you with problems and can also help you to find more within you. Your inner understanding and greatness is the real value and with using a life coach then all that can be brought out of you by the use of interesting questions.

 

“MarkAlison O'Leary Life Coaching Testimonial is an awesome coach and I really value the work he’s done with me. He has an incisive intuition and approach that gets to the heart of the matter quickly and helps you see things in a new way that removes blocks and gets you motoring in the right direction for you.

Mark really embodies the qualities of a great coach – he’s smart, honest and totally focused on you as his client.”  Alison O’Leary – London

 

If you want to discuss life coaching more or arrange a complimentary 2-hour deep coaching session then please get in touch with me today by clicking HERE.

 

The reasons I can offer a 2-hour complimentary session are:

  • So you can experience life coaching fully without money being involved as this allows you to relax and fully go where you want to go and to say what you want to say in the session.
  • So you can see if you can or want to work with me and me also with you in the future.
  • You may get what you need from this 2-hour session and that’s perfect too if you are complete afterwards.
  • I get referrals from working like this so find the right people to work with.
  • Some people decide to work with me on a longer term basis after this session and sign up for life coaching with me.

 

Thanks again for reading this and I look forward to offering you a 2-hour complimentary deep coaching session in the future.

Mark Pettigrew life coaching Paisley Glasgow Image

Mark

Mindfulness editorial series

Mindfulness – Talking About It Is Not The Same As Doing It.

talking-about-mindfulness-is-not-the-same-as-doing-mindfulness

Could Mindfulness make a difference in your life?

 

Most people go through their day planning or remembering what they did but don’t often  pull over, stick on the hand brake and stop in the here and now to smell the roses and that’s such a loss.

 

So many people I meet say “I don’t have time to do that, life is just too short and I have so much to do. Ever heard something similar or said that because you are so stressed out?

 

Well that’s the story most of us create and we ignore it because it’s simpler to just keep going on head down getting on with things the way we usually do hoping we just manage and things improve.

 

Life can be so hectic or that’s what we believe and have been conditioned to say and yes you read that right! But what if that could be different by doing things differently by being more kind to ourselves?

 

Lots of people have heard of mindfulness and there are many opinions of mindfulness out there from a lot of people that have never even read a book or been on a training course about mindfulness. So please beware of well meaning ignorant people with advice based on opinions only.

 

Mindfulness is not going through life constantly floating on a cloud or sitting in bright orange monks robes humming “ommmmm” where you  plan nothing because you must live in the here and now!

 

Mindfulness is a proven scientific approach to greater physical, mental and spiritual well-being that is non religious and secular.

 

How we approach what we do can be done in a mindful way so as not to add time onto our day. Simple subtle shifts can make profound differences in your life by doing things slightly different and with relative ease.

 

A simple way to think of the way we do things that work against us is to think of our thoughts like a ping pong ball. The ball goes forward to the future and back to the past a lot right?

 

This is what’s known as the “doing mode” and has been scientifically proven that our conscious thought is only ever in the present a maximum of 47% which is unhealthy (proven by Harvard University)

 

To be in the “being mode” which is far more healthy we must be fully present and this has amazing restorative properties.

 

For me it’s like opening a tap where negative stress and pressure can drain out. But be assured you don’t have to stay consciously present continually.

 

If you did how would you ever plan anything or remember things?

 

So please remember talking about mindfulness and actually doing mindfulness are two very different things and can be learned with ease by going on training courses, reading books or youtube videoas to name but a few.

.

The following video in some way explains how to be more present and not add a second onto your day.

 

Video ThumbnailMindfulness – Talking About It Is Not The Same As Doing It. Could Mindfulness make a difference in your life?   Most people go through their day planning or remembering what they did but don’t often  pull over, stick on the hand brake and stop in the here and now to smell the roses and that’s s

 

Yes part of mindfulness is non religious meditation but there is also a whole host of other things that make mindfulness easier to do than meditation but they are for other blog posts.

 

Thanks again for blogging with me on mindfulness and I hope this has helped. So keep tuned in for regular blog posts on mindfulness over the coming months.

 

Please feel free to comment below and share this post.

 

I regularly arrange mindfulness courses for individuals and also for companies so please contact me for details about how to book now.

 

Mark Pettigrew Image for Mindfulness editorials Mark

 

 

Anxiety Busting Tool Kit For Control

Anxiety Busting – Introduction

anxiety busting

 

When we are anxious our thoughts, feelings and emotions can and do get way out of control and we can often feel overpowered and helpless.

I meet people on a regular basis and help them regain that control and it’s no coincidence that the prevalent word that they use is the word “control” when we speak.

so by helping people see that they can actually influence, disrupt and change these patterns in some way gives people a glimmer of hope and understanding that control is possible and they can and do take it back.

Don’t get me wrong this is not one of those posts that promises the earth and leaves you flat after that. You will have to take part in running your own affairs and driving your own bus again!

So if you stick with me I will show you ways of changing the physical, auditory and visual things that trouble you and help you disrupt those patterns to make room for the things that serve you better!

For some people, they find that hypnotherapy helps them to make the changes.

 

Emotional Freedom Technique – EFT And Tapping

 

How to change the physical effects of anxiety on the body

 

How to change the voices and words in your head

How to change the pictures and movies you play in your head

 

Conclusion

So with the above videos you can influence the physical, auditory and visual aspects of anxiety and you should be able to get some relief and respite from troubling thoughts.

If you have any questions or want to explore this deeper then please get in touch and schedule a free 30 minute consultation by clicking the red HERE now

Thanks for taking the time to read this and please feel free to comment / share / tweet.

Best wishes and I look forward to hearing from you in the future!

Mark

Is Mindfulness Your Swiss Army Knife Of Mental Performance?

Some People Talk About Mindfulness As If It’s The New Kid On The Block And It’s NOT!

Can Mindfulness Be Your Swiss Army Knife Of Mental Performance?

 

In fact it first appeared in 1979 and has really came to the fore in recent years because of the facts and scientific data we now have.

 

With the release of modern studies the efficacy of mindfulness has really made it more and more popular within homes and workplaces because of what we now know to be true.

 

In 2010 Harvard University carried out a study which proved that in general people think 46.9% outside of the present moment which is not healthy at all!

 

This has been termed the “Monkey Mind” where it is wandering and ill at ease or ruminating and creates stress.

Mindfulness Is Good For You If You Have Troubles Or Are Perfectly Fine!

 

Yes you don’t have to be in need of a tonic or a so called pick me up to benefit from it. Yes it’s good for unwell people and also people who are at the top of their game equally.

What Is Mindfulness In A Nut Shell?

Can Mindfulness Be Your Swiss Army Knife Of Mental Performance?

 

Mindfulness is a non religious and non threatening form of meditation in its simplest terms that can change brain activity by encouraging present moment observational awareness.

Some Very Simple Science Facts About Mindfulness

 

  1. Mindfulness positively affects the Amygdala which controls fear, anxiety and stress.
  2. Mindfulness positively affects the Hippocampus which controls learning and memory.
  3. Mindfulness positively affects the DMN (Default Mode Network) which is responsible for the wandering mind and decreases its activity.

Is It Time To Get This Into Workplaces like Schools?

 

Ever noted how this is now in schools quite prolifically?

Then why is it not mainstreaming at work considering the following:

  • £1.24 billion loss each year to business from stress.
  • Stress affects 1 in 5 employees.
  • Stress is the single biggest cause of sickness in the UK.

Considering how much time you spend at work and the ripple effect it has within the larger whole of your life then it’s worthy to consider is it not?

So Why Is Mindfulness Believed To Be So Good Then?

Can Mindfulness Be Your Swiss Army Knife Of Mental Performance?

It has a significant effect on anxiety and depression in the first instance and if you think about that it will make perfect sense to you when you read on.

To fuel depression or anxiety you have to be preoccupied with the past or worrying about the future.

With mindfulness you can apply a level of control by being fully present more than you ever have been which takes you out of future or past thoughts and reduces stress and a mind that is wandering unhappily.

What Is The Down Side of Mindfulness?

 

Absolutely nothing it is 100% safe!

Just on a last point whats your upside after reading this?

 

 

Thanks for blogging with me again and I hope you enjoy the editorial.

 Can Mindfulness Be Your Swiss Army Knife Of Mental Performance? Mark

Are you connected with your mindfulness mojo?

mindfulness

Are you connected with your mindfulness mojo?

I was in the shower today and it struck me how incredible the smell of the shower gel was on my hands. This may seem a bit weird me even commenting on this and actually taking the time to even express it.

Well here’s the point! How often do you just rush about just functioning and superficially servicing your body rather than connecting with it?

Many people will probably be thinking what’s he on about has he lost it! Well here’s the reality of what’s been proven in our society. Almost 47% of our conscious thought is not in the present. You may be saying “big deal, so what” and that’s pretty normal too if there is such a thing as normal these days!

Good mental health is on the decline and that’s fact. Anxiety is on the up and so is depression. Stress is burning people out and we just think its normal these days. There I go again like a broken record “these days”.

Well let me let you into a growth industry and it’s mindfulness which is proving to be the guiding light for many. Mindfulness takes a little daily practice it’s true and for me the concept is very simple!

Stop – experience – relax – absorb – energise – continue.

In my own experience I realised that the mind had almost became an organic super computer that had gotten way too big for it’s boots draining my physical batteries.

So what’s the antidote? Are you ready for another big secret? Simplicity in itself is the answer!

It’s all about Smelling the shower gel, feeling the hot shower jet on your back, listening to your inner voice that says “Ahh that feels really good” and looking at the water coming out of the shower as it hits your face and body!

Do you get my point here? Enjoying the sensations from the body and taking the time to fully experience them can be truly enlightening. Hollistically this reconnection between the mind body and spirit holding us in the moment is a representation of mindfulness.mindfulness

Isn’t it so simple that thoroughly enjoying experiences can recharge your positive mental health batteries
and it’s 100% free? Yes this sounds so simple and easy because it is when you stop and think about it!

Here is a short list of things to consider that will improve your life if you dare to do them regularly…

  • Smelling a flower
  • Savouring  a square of chocolate without chewing
  • Watching a child play
  • Listening intently to your favourite piece of music with earphones
  • Feeling the sun on your face

Don’t you think its time to wake up and smell the coffee too??

Thanks for blogging with me and please leave comments as well as shower mindfully on a regular basis……

Mark

P.S. I can thoroughly recommend this book